


close your loop

by starmuphin



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, Time Loop, Time Travel, if any ventus/vanitas happens it will be very mild
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-28
Updated: 2019-07-28
Packaged: 2020-07-24 18:14:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,575
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20018866
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starmuphin/pseuds/starmuphin
Summary: Time travel is a crapshoot.Vanitas is trapped in the moments between being defeated by Sora, and right before Ventus struck him down inside their shared heart.  If his death isn't the way out, then Vanitas must find a way to change his fate and find a way to escape this loop he's trapped in.





	close your loop

**Author's Note:**

> I really don't want to hear about how I got the time-traveling stuff wrong, Nomura already makes everything so confusing but I'll give him props, he stuck to his own rules. I just like the idea of being trapped in a time loop.
> 
> But important things to remember from canon:
> 
> -After being defeated in kh3, Vanitas was sent back to bbs to be finished off by Ven.  
> -When you go back to your original time, you'll forget all about your travels but your heart will remember and that can influence your decision making.  
> -Time travel cannot change destiny.
> 
> And also, if anyone is wondering, I am working on my other fic! I ended up changing the ending because I've been dealing with lots of sad things, so I wanted to actually have the best ending I could give it. I was planning on a bittersweet ending lol

Their battle goes exactly like how Vanitas had expected it to.

The threads of darkness start to fade and tear apart and he knows that this time, this is the end for sure. 

Sora gets over his shock over their shared face and calls out his name, wanting to stop this because he is light and always wants to fucking help. Somewhere in a forgotten place in his shattered heart, Vanitas thinks he can feel Ventus’ despair and sadness. It feels like a failure and that makes Vanitas smirk and snort. Did his other half feel regret? It’s too late for any of that. Now it’s the time for Ventus to go and do what Vanitas has always wanted to do, to kill Xehanort and end this ridiculous plan that was never going to work. To free everyone from the strings controlling their wills and just fade away into the darkness, just like he was meant to do.

Because that’s what happens to darkness, right? The light eats it away because they are the good guys, and the darkness is burned away to nothing because they are the bad guys. That’s what Vanitas’ destiny has always been, and it’s fine. Whatever... just let him be done.

He feels his body fade away, in this desert that he had spent his not-childhood away, lonely and hurt and desperate. A place that he hates, this is where he dies for his master’s whims. For something so pointless and stupid.

It makes him grin in despair.

-

There’s a moment where he spaces out and when he comes back to himself, he feels like he had been doing something else.

Somewhere else. 

But when he blinks and focuses, it is Ventus coming towards him with a finishing blow and it’s done. The x-blade falls from his hands  _ again _ and it’s Vanitas who is falling. He desperately reaches for it, knowing that he won’t be able to grasp it  _ again _ because he knew that this was his fate. To fail  _ again  _ and fade into the heat and brightness of light, feeling himself fall away  _ again _ —

In his broken heart, he feels confusion more than sadness or pain but he doesn’t understand why and there’s no time left. The light burns at his darkness and he scatters away.

_ Again. _

-

Their battle goes exactly like how Vanitas thought it would—

Vanitas stops mid-step and stares as Ventus comes rushing towards him.

_ What is—? _

He barely dodges his attack, stumbling in an ungraceful way that’s not like him at all. It makes Ventus stop too like he hadn’t expected it either and for a long moment, the two of them just stare at each other. Vanitas can feel the echoes of confusion creeping into his mind, something that’s _ not like him, he always— _

_ This… wait, didn’t I— _

It’s interrupted as Sora rushes past Ventus, keyblade raised high over his head and strikes down. Gasping and stumbling, Vanitas is barely able to hold himself up, the feeling that this was… this… he knew he would lose, he’s not fucking stupid but no way he could have— but it’s different? His mind raced in a panic because this didn’t go how it was supposed to go, didn’t it? It did but it didn’t.

The threads of darkness start to fade and tear apart and he knows that this time, this is the end—

Sora gets over his shock over their shared face and calls out his name, wanting to stop this because he is light but he should have let things play out like they were supposed to go— somewhere in a forgotten place in his shattered heart, Vanitas thinks he can feel Ventus’ despair and sadness and confusion. It feels like a failure and that should make Vanitas laugh but instead, he feels it dig into his broken heart because he’s felt this before. Vanitas doesn’t feel this kind of regret so it has to be Ventus’ but when had he felt this before today?

Words are being said, first Sora and then Ventus and they are familiar things because this already— Vanitas can feel his entire body tremble because he knows, he knows what’s happening and it burns, it’s going to burn again— Vanitas can feel Ventus’ rage and desperation before it even shows up in his face.

“What’s the matter with you!? Say something!” Ventus yells and rushes towards him, pushing Sora away when he tries to stop him. “Why aren’t you— is this what you want!?”

Vanitas stares back, words that feel familiar are stuck in his throat. This moment is different—

_ This didn’t happen. _

He feels his body fade away, in this fucking desert that he had spent his not-childhood away, lonely and hurt and desperate, and that’s something else that hasn’t changed. A place that he hates, this is where he dies again, for his master’s whims. For something so pointless and stupid.

All he can do is stare back at Ventus.

-

There’s a moment where he spaces out and when he comes back to himself, he feels like he had been doing something else?

Somewhere else?

But when he blinks and focuses, it is Ventus coming towards him with a finishing blow and the rest plays like it’s happening to someone else.

_ We’ve done this before… I’ve— _

In his broken heart, he feels confusion more than sadness or pain but he doesn’t understand why, except that it isn’t just his emotions. It’s Ventus. The light burns at his darkness and he scatters away.

_ Again and again. _

-

Their battle goes exactly like how—

Vanitas can’t keep his keyblade out, his hands are shaking too much for that and it fades away without him realizing it. He stares at Ventus rushing at him, keyblade held over his head in a finishing blow.

_ No no no what the fuck is this!? _

He fades away into a puddle of darkness away from them, to the corner of the arena they are stuck in because if they can’t leave, Vanitas can’t leave either. Both Ventus and Sora look confused, turning around frantically looking for him which takes no time to do, but Vanitas just keeps dodging them because this is— what is this!?

When he reforms, Sora has put away his keyblade and is looking at him with concern that makes Vanitas’ skin crawl. But he gets Ventus to stop as well and they just fucking stare at him, like he’s being weird but don’t they realize what’s happening? They’ve done this before! This happened already—

Under his hysteria, he can feel Ventus’ confusion and something that feels like maybe he’s concerned but that’s bullshit because...because that’s not what they do. Ventus doesn’t care about Vanitas and never will,  _ so fucking stop just stop already! _

Clutching his chest, Vanitas hunches over and tries to keep it together, eyes darting back at Ventus and the ground in front of him. This desperation and panic isn’t something new to him, he’s felt like this many times before when it was just him and his unversed, all alone in this goddamn graveyard—

_ What the fuck is this!? _

It’s interrupted as Aqua rushes past Ventus and Sora, keyblade raised high over her head and strikes down before anyone can stop her. Gasping and stumbling, Vanitas is barely able to hold himself up, but it was different this time!  _ It wasn’t Ventus it wasn’t Ventus it wasn’t Ventus— _

The threads of darkness start to fade and tear apart and  _ why is this happening again!? _

Sora is shocked at his face but why? He saw it already when this happened, this already fucking happened!

—Somewhere in a forgotten place in his shattered heart, Vanitas thinks he can feel Ventus’ despair and panic and horror. It feels like a failure and that makes Vanitas angry as he glares at Ventus, he knew this would happen why the fuck is he so upset?

“Stop looking at me like that!” Vanitas snarls at his other half, unable to keep the panic out of his voice. “What the fuck is this!? Why are you doing this!?”

Ventus just stares, his eyes wide with fear.

Words are being said, first Sora and then Ventus  _ they are terrified this time like this isn’t what he wanted _ and they are familiar things but he says nothing in return. Vanitas can feel Ventus’ rage before it even shows up in his face.

“What’s the matter with you!? Say something!” Ventus yells and rushes towards him, pushing Sora away when he tries to stop him. “Why aren’t you— this isn’t what I want! I don’t want this! Stop it!” He suddenly rushes towards him, eyes filled with panic, with Aqua grabbing him and Sora looking so scared that he doesn’t move.

Vanitas stares back, words that feel familiar stuck in his throat. This moment is different—

_ This didn’t happen last time. _

He feels his body fade away, in this fucking desert that he had spent his not-childhood away, lonely and hurt and desperate, and that’s something else that hasn’t changed. A place that he hates, this is where he dies again and again—

All he can do is stare back at Ventus screaming and begging for him to wait.

-

...

...

He looks up to see Ventus coming towards him with a finishing blow.

_ This is… what is this? _

_ … _

“Why didn’t you defend yourself!?”

…

The light burns at his darkness and he scatters away.

_ Again and again and again. _

**Author's Note:**

> Comments, kudos, bookmarks, hits... whatever, I appreciate them all :D whether you want to let me know you are enjoying my work, or just a lurker, thank you so much for reading! I have most of it already planned, minus the ending because I wanted to see how I feel about it as I write it.


End file.
